I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
