I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
