Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?