so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.