It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?