I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs