party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize