**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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