you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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