I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do vagina's smell?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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