why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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