people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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