Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
