i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
