she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
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You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize