Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
