im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
