it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
