i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
