I like to think it a success when the cops are called
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize