You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
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You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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