Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize