I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
