I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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