Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3