At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
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I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When did angry sex become our thing?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
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He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN