I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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