Girls should come with a carfax report
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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