I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize