An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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