told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
