I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You pole danced in your parka.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
