i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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