Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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