(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
