There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
