Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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