You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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