Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
