Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
