Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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