I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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