I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
