how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my shit smells like andre
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had to cum in my sink.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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