I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize