why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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