"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize