God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
