Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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