this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
