i can't believe i had my finger in that
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
