Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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