i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
