I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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