she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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