porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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