ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
