you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
