we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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