id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
either way he was missing a nipple.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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