Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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